I would make the worst party DJ ever

I’m sitting here, trying to force myself how to actually paint in photoshop, and I have iTunes on (as always), listening to my whole collection at random. I need to take a nap in a little while, anyway, but still.

I like my collection. Some songs are good to relax to, some are good for pepping me up and getting me motivated, and others are good for just singing out to, you know? But, quite frankly, people get baffled when they come in, hang with me, and I have this on random.

So, how random are they? Here’s a list:

Squirrel Nut Zippers – Maiden’s Prayer
Evanescence – Going Under
Celtic Woman – Carol of the Bells
Less than Jake – All My Best Friends Are Metalheads
Ben Folds – Bitches Ain’t Shit

And, currently listening to Nelly Furtado – (Shit) On The Radio

So, no, none of them go with each other. At least, not in any discernable fashion. (Ok, the song just changed. It’s Poe – Hey Pretty) I don’t even think any of them are even the same genres, are they?

I don’t even care. I’m just writing this because I’m bored, tired, and medicated So, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I’m a moron.

I just don’t get “genre’s”. I listen to the “It doesn’t suck balls” genre. If I can groove to it, if I can sing to it, or if I can feel it, and it doesn’t make me cringe every time I hear it (although, part of that is Krystal’s fault. I just can’t listen to “Walk Away” by Kelly Clarkston anymore because of her and her goddamned karaoke machine), it belongs in the “Doesn’t Suck Balls” genre. It gets bonus points if I can sing it, and even more bonus points if I can play it on the guitar. (Speaking of, it just changed to “The Cranberries – Zombie”. Love that song.)

I don’t get all hung up on “oh, you like that kind of music? tee hee, you must be a(n) [Insert something derrogative here]” kind of mentality. Unless it’s that stupid boy band shit. Nothing good ever came out of that. Well, except the one song JC Chasez did with BT. And that’s not that great, but it’s ok. But, still. Justin Timberlake? COME ON. He’s like trying to be the white Michael Jackson. Not happnin’.

(Juliana Hatfield 3 – Spin the Bottle played during that paragraph. Here comes Trou Macacq by Squirrel Nut Zippers.)

I mean, no, I don’t much get into listening to the radio (none come in my bedroom anyway, and my truck radio doesn’t work, leaving me to listen to ringtones on my phone if I drive for too long.), and I’m not much into most of the music that’s come out in recent years. I don’t like music that whines. I’m starting to kind of be ok with “Plain White T’s”. Well, at least I like that “I really don’t like you” song. That new single “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood makes me wish Matt had a car, and I had money to get up there to fuck it up. I think I want to sing it at a karaoke, because I can belt that shit out. (Now playing: K’s Choice – Not An Addict)

Although, there have been a few songs that have come out lately that have made me just……..it’s hard to describe. It’s like happy tears, but on the inside. (no, not that, you perverts!) Like, I remember telling my friends a way back, ’round V-Day, that if any guy wanted me to melt on the spot, randomly play “Surrender” by Billy Talent. It’s…..to me, honestly, it’s the most perfect love song written in a long time.

And, with that, I’m going to take a nap. Besides, it’s a new song, anyway (Fugazi – Waiting Room), and I have to pee.

So, he thinks he’s a clever little minx.

My baby sister was liberated last night. Liberated from the clutches of a complete and utter asshole. That’s right, my sister is single once again! And the happiest I’ve seen her since the day I moved back home!

And, yes, I had my hand in it…well, I did send an email to him after she broke up with his ass.

What did it say?

So, you think you’re smart, and that you’re doing this shit behind Caitlin’s back. NEWSFLASH, fucker. Your absolute GENIOUS in getting a “secret” MySpace account, and then being stupid enough to add Sand Creek to your profile…….f’ing genious. Truly genious. I mean, Sand Creek is SO huge. Like no one on MySpace that is in Sand Creek doesn’t know at least ONE member of my family, fucktard.
By the way, check your email. My sister has written you for, what I hope will be, the last fucking time. You’ve hurt my sister for the LAST time.
If you reply, just know that it will most likely be read out loud to my family. Because we’re tight like that. Also, I may just print out a few thousand copies and throw them in the wind. Because I’m a bitch like that.
C-ya, fucker.

My mom and dad were….taken aback at my poetic use of the f-bomb, which……….used to be a daily occurance, and now I get to use for special occasions like……….when an asshole treats my little sister like shit.

First, before I show you the link to what it is now, I’ll show you what was up there originally:

http://www.cgrealms.com/jenx/mikemaynardisanasshole.zip

After you’ve read that, and seen his ugly ass face, you can read what’s up there now.

Click here

So, Mike. You think you’re all slick. You think you’re the shit. You think that you are such a hot-ass guy.

Let me tell you something. The BEST thing ever happened to my baby sister last night. Not only are you out of her life, but, SHE’S HAPPY ABOUT IT. Yeah, her heart hurts a little. Mostly because you’re a lying sack of shit. But, you know, it’s much better this way. She’s going to go to college, able to experience life, and very much away from you.

So, go to eastern. Play your precious fucking paintball. And, know that, not only has most of the big huge town of Sand Creek read what was originally on your MySpace page, thanks to the cunning skillz of OUR PRINTER (dumbass), This shit is on the ‘net for ANYONE to see.

And, just in case anyone is searching for you, googling you, I want to make sure that me saying MIKE MAYNARD IS AN ASSHOLE comes up front and center in their searching. Which is why I’m posting this in every place I have a blog.

Smooches!

Jeni

Find out everything in a test

Ok, now, we all know that I’m a sucker for online tests. So, of course, I took the compatibility tests at true.com. Apparently, I’m compatible with either a bunch of fat, old men, OR, really psycho-looking guys my own age.

So, guess where I’m NEVER going to go looking for guys? That’s right. I mean, I’m pretty sure that my dad would totally kill any guy over the age of 35 who tried to take me on a date, and, well, quite frankly, I’m not too keen on dating psychos.

So, what’s a girl to do?

Nothing for now, MUAHAHAHAHA!!

*edit*

Although, should I ever want to have a career in dominatrix…ing….there are TONS of subservient typed guys in the area.  LMAO

last.fm, please play what I want, not what you think I want.

Ok, really, when I put in “No Doubt”, I don’t think I want to hear “The Ketchup Song”. And, when I search for “Bjork”, I’m not expecting to hear “Celine Dion”. As a matter of fact, at NO time do I want to hear Ms. Dion. I would rather run a hot poker in one ear and out the other.

However, I am liking some of the new stuff that I’m hearing, which is good. But, the fact that you’re even listing stuff like Destiny’s Child for me (which, by their own right, are a bunch of talented singers, just in no way my style) suggests that either:

• You’re out to insult my intelligence.
• You’re paid to play certain songs.
• You want me to pay so I don’t get the sucktastic music.
• All of the above.

On that note, here’s a pretty boi